August 3, 2015 by Dadinator
Once upon a time 4 cars were driving along when suddenly they ran out of fuel. They all ran out of fuel at once, so their engines whent “Put put put put thrrrrrrrp”.
“Oh no, what will we do?” said the cars to each other. Then along came a satellite which squirted fuel into the cars, refilling their tanks. They drove on happily.
Once upon a time 4 cars were driving along when suddenly all their tyres popped. Yes all popped. At once. (?) They also all flipped over for reasons I don’t understand. As they flipped they said “AAAAAAAAH!” in a high-pitched voice.
“Oh no, what will we do?” said the cars to each other. Then along came a satellite, which had a tractor beam on it to help flip the cars back over. WHUM WHUM WHUM went the tractor beam as it picked up the cars one by one and fixed their tires somehow. They drove on happily.
Once upon a time 4. No wait, 5 cars (we found the blue one) were driving along when they fell into the water, probably due to gross driver error. “AAAAAARGH SPLASH!” they went as they fell down the steep cliff into the depths below.
“BLUB BBLBLBLB BLRRRR?” said the cars to each other (which is “Oh no, what will we do?” underwater). Then along came a satellite, which had a tractor beam on it. WHUM WHUM WHUM went the tractor beam, and it lifted the cars out of the water one by one and put them back on the road.
Once upon a time 5 cars somehow had all their wheels fall off at once.
Satellite. Tractor boom.
Once upon a time 5 cars got stuck in the mud. No wait, it was 3 kinds of mind. What? Brown and Green and Blue mud? What does that even mean? Does this happen all at the same time or is it going to be 3 stories in a row?
3 IN A ROW?
Right I’m pulling the plug. No I won’t use the satellite tractor beam to pull the plug.
Get out of the bath.
Occasionally my son has particular narrative obsessions. I always feel proud of them because somehow I introduce him to them. I first introduce the plot device of the satellite with a tractor beam to him. It’s been a recurring motif in our stories in the bath for the past couple of weeks. Needles to say I am over it.
The basic pattern is:
Improvise new interesting twist to a story.
Bring joy to your child that makes you feel like you are an amazing parent.
Repeat the next day
Repeat the day after that
Repeat twice the day after the day after that
Repeat at least every 4 hours from that point on.
Repeat 2-3 times in a row.
Repeat without stopping.
Stop suddenly. Until you….
Improvise new and interesting twist to a story
Repeat the whole cycle.
Actually the worst thing about it is that I know (for a fact) it will happen again.
The best thing about it is that I know I’m not the only one.