Talk dirty to me….


March 8, 2015 by Dadinator

The Mamanator is engaged in yet another piece of domestic drudgery while I run the bath. She is sorting through the changetable, which seems to just attract kids clothes all the time. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her waist, joining my hands over her navel. We sway gently and I place my lips on the nape of her neck.

It’s a short embrace. Most of our embraces are short embraces now days, but we enjoy them. As we part ways to return to what we are doing I say in a loud whisper:

“God, you’re a sexy woman”

Our eyes meet and we smile to each other. She’s about to repay the compliment.

We avert our gaze and standing before us is our little resident word-sponge The Lad. He’s 3, he is alert and he hears bloody everything. He’s also managed to stand between us as we have pressed our bodies against one another’s in the past, and his head is right in between our you-know-whats. This is symbolic of his role in our marital relations. He has earned his nickname “Sir Buzz Killington” well.

This time though he is just off to the side. He has a quixotic look on his face, puzzling out the scene before him. A penny drops as he smiles at his mother and says in his usually adorable toddler soprano “Hello Sexy Woman”.


Oh dear.

The mood drains out of the moment like quicksilver as both The Mamanator and myself are dominated by one single desperate thought.

“Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh! OH GOD DON’T LAUGH!”

Breathing deeply we overcome our primal urges (all of them), and ignore it.

It never happened.

We will never speak of it again.

Well except for here, but that’s okay, right?

I suppose I could draw this into a parenting lesson. We model a relationship to our children. We show them two adults interact, how two adults in love interact. We provide a template by which they will judge every relationship they enter into in their lives etc. etc. etc.

But I’m not going to because, honestly, being a parent hasn’t changed the way The Mamanator and I interact. We’ve always been a sickeningly lovey-dovey couple and we always will be. We’ve always flirted in the home with one another and I’m pretty sure we always will (right honey?).

Part of being a parent is sometimes saying “stuff this, I’m just going to be myself and hope it works out”. And in this particular arena, that’s what we’re doing.

Sure we swear less, wear clothes slightly more often and only engage in involved snogging when the kids are not watching or asleep, but  that’s only because we have to be ready to go stop them throwing themselves down the stairs at a moments notice and that can be hard to do when you’re mid-pash.

But I have no issue with my children understanding that we are in love, that we express it freely with each other and that we are affectionate.

I just don’t necessarily want them going to kindergarten saying “sexy woman” – or man, for that matter – to random people in the yard. So maybe we’ll keep our heated exchanges to whispers for the foreseeable future. There’s definitely something exciting about that….

And yes, I cannot wait to gross them out as teenagers. Mwa ha ha ha ha!

Oh and I must include:


4 thoughts on “Talk dirty to me….

  1. Alex says:

    Haha! That’s gold!
    I dread to think of the things my kids say at school. The fact we have a list of ‘house only’ words is probably not encouraging!

  2. Now I’ll have that song stuck in my head all day. It’s only 24 hours after I got Fallen Angel out of my head.

  3. PS. You go kids. I love that you’re still in love.

  4. Sylvain Dureau says:

    We always hear the words “CAUGHT YOU”, usually by middle girl, whenever we share an embrace or a kiss nowadays…..even if she’s not in the same room, somehow she knows…lol…

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