December 22, 2014 by Dadinator
I wanted to share a moment in history with you. As a member of the fairer sex I think this will be of special interest to you. When you were little Australia had a Prime Minister called Tony Abbott. Who was also Minister for Women – ensuring your mother and you didn’t have to worry your pretty little heads about politics or complicated issues like women’s rights.
What a guy.
After his first year in office he was asked what he had done for women, and his answer was a pearler. I won’t spoiler it now, read through this and you’ll understand exactly what he was on about. But it left your mother grinning from ear to ear.
I remember the day clearly. It was July 17th, a Thursday as I recall. I had been out bread-winning and just pulling into the driveway. Your beautiful mother must have heard me come in, as I walked through the door to be greeted by a glass, ice and scotch on a silver tray.
I poured myself a glass. ” How was your day?” She asked as she stood in place. “Oh wonderful honey, I’ve got great news!” Then I looked in my glass “dear, you know I like 5 ice cubes in my scotch when I got home, there are only four in here.”
“Oh, sorry. I mustn’t have been paying attention. Silly old me”
“That’s alright dear, you only learn from your mistakes if I point them out to you.”
“Of course. Are you ready and see the children?”
You and your brother greeted me with clean faces and combed hair ready to greet your dad after a hard day in the office. The Lad ran forward for a hug, but I quickly stopped him and reminded him how to shake hands. “Good job, son! You’re growing up fast”. You stood there gazing up at me, I gave you a kiss, promised that I’d always look after you and reminded you to listen to your mother so you’d learn how to keep house and look after your future husband.
My fatherly duty done I ate dinner and had the chance to share the good news with your mother.
“Did you hear about what happened in Canberra today?”
“Yes, it’s been in the news.”
“Oh, I know you don’t like me to read the news, what happened?”
“Well, you know how our Prime Minister is also Minister for Women?”
“We have a minister for women? Sounds like a funny ministry to me.”
“Well, yes that’s true, but guess what he did?”
“Umm…. he addressed pay parity between men and women?”
“No, better than that.”
“He’s come up with a new policy to address domestic violence?”
“He’s appointed more women to cabinet?”
“Nope, give up? He REPEALED THE CARBON TAX!”
“Wonderful. What’s that mean?”
“Well, we’re going to have lower power bills (maybe), so it will be easier to manage the household finances for you. He knows that you women are particularly focused on the household budget and the repeal of the carbon tax means a $550 a year benefit for the average family.”
“Oh, great! That’s wonderful dear.”
“Well, don’t we have solar panels anyway?”
“Yes we do, but but lower power bills?”
“And… doesn’t our electricity provider only provide green power?”
“Why, maybe. So what?”
“Well, are we even paying more for carbon?”
“Look, it’s great news. We’ll look back on this day as a victory for women.”
And so on our evening went. I smoked my cigar as I had a drink and a relax. The Mamanator did the ironing and made sure the house was neat. The children slept, I think, The Mamanator took care of them.
So, dear daughter, when asked “what happened the year you turned one”, remember this day. Remember how much of a victory it was for women. And remember to say #thankstony.
DISCLAIMER: This post may contain traces of bitterness and satire.