January 29, 2014 by Dadinator
I kind of get it now. Why our relationships are the way they are. I never felt so terrified as I did bringing our son home for the first time. I had never experienced that moment after hospital; you sit around the house for a few minutes, look at your partner and say “So……… Ummmmmmmm….what are we supposed to do?”. I never watched a baby learn to roll, crawl, sit up, walk, talk, eat and do all those things I thought I have always done.
You went through all that with us one upon a time. And then I grew. And grew. And time flew and flew. It must be hard to process that I am 33 years old now. I can appreciate that. Compared to that fact, the thought that I am now a father must be a monumental freak out. It frequently messes with my own mind.
But that is not who I am writing to. This letter isn’t to my parent but to my kids’ grandparent. It is the same person, but it is not the same thing.
I want you to know I trust you with my children. Outside their mum, I trust you more than anyone else in the world. And I am certain The Mamanator feels the same way. We know how much you love them. Honestly, we do. We know you understand what it is like to be a parent. We are just starting to understand it ourselves. And I know, I know just wait till they’re teenagers…. Everyone keeps saying that.
Sometimes it will be awkward. It must feel strange asking me (the baby you fed, held, burped and cleaned) what is okay to feed your grandson, checking if its okay to watch TV, when he needs a sleep etc… Thank you for asking, it shows you trust us, that you trust our judgement. That means a great deal.
Sometimes you will feel your wisdom challenged, and sometimes we will just straight out disagree. That’s all part of life, we mean no disrespect and we don’t think anything you did was wrong. We know advice changes. We know we do some things differently. We know we have ABC4 now, and you never had that. We are different people living in different times, so we are different parents.
We ask only that you hear us out, that you respect the course we have laid out for… Wait. Hang on, no… that isn’t right….
We ask only that you respect our journey we take with our kids….. Hmmmmmm … No that’s not it either.
We ask only that you let us blindly stumble our own way through the fog and darkness of this experience. We’ll trip up and we’ll ask for help but ultimately it us our path to muddle through.
Thank you for everything.
PS Is it too soon to book in babysitting for date nights? I know The Lass is only 4 months old, but knowing it will happen one day will make life a little more bearable.