May 23, 2013 by Dadinator
Dear The Wife,
Sum stultior quam asinus.
I am stupider than a donkey.
That’s the worst insult I ever learnt while studying Latin at school. Yes I studied Latin. Clearly not the cool street Latin the kids are into these days, but that was about as hardcore we were going to get in our leafy green WASPy privileged private school. Nonetheless I believe I deserve this deeply harsh rebuke for myself. I hope I can survive the shame.
Personal blogs are by their nature self-centred and egocentric. This blog revolves around me. It is written in my voice and the characters in this little drama are talked about in terms of their relationship to me. What I didn’t realise I was doing though was in my writing belittling the role of the woman I love, I was belittling you. I realised this as I started to read around daddy blogs out there, looking at their various pseudonyms and aliases they use for their children and partners. I’m quite happy with “The Lad” and eventually “The Lass” for our children. It will get complicated if our family ever extends to a third child, but according to The Plan (TM) that will never ben an issue. No, I started to take issue with the title “The Wife”.
It sounds like something from the 50s. Like something you’d here from Fred Flintstone or a character from “I Love Lucy” or “Mad Men”, or something my father might have used in the pub in his younger days. It’s like those similarly patronising terms “The Boss” or “The Ball and Chain”. It also doesn’t acknowledge the truth; you and I are partners in the raising of our children. You are my wife, but within the family you are also The Lad’s (and soon to be The Lass’s) mother. I regret that I didn’t realise this sooner.
I spoke to you about it last night and while you never thought it was your place to tell me how to write my own blog when I started this project, you told me that you disliked “The Wife” for the reasons outlined above, and you were happy to see the end of it. We also discussed alternatives together, and we came up with something. So, as we talked about, from this post on you will be known as “The Mamanator”. I was going to go with “Mumanator”, but at this stage of his development The Lad calls you “mama” rather than “mummy” or “muma”, so “Mamanator” it is.
So please accept my apology Mamanator, I love you.
Yours in contrition,