The horizon or light at the end of the tunnel or whatever.

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March 4, 2013 by Dadinator

Things have been better this week as The Wife is on a steady improve. She has been able to function as a human being for more hours of the day. The Lad seems happier and I have found myself coping a bit better. The house feels more and more like home. We have got things done. Furniture is in place except for one pesky shelf, more pictures are on the walls and the kitchen in sorted and ready to be re sorted by The Wife once she is up and about properly. Our cats have an outdoor space for the first time in their lives. We have solar panels installed. This I’d a big deal for us, two of our major life aspirations have been fulfilled in a week.

Improvement however slight or however sporadic is something to be celebrated. Who knew getting down to one spew a day could be considered something worth throwing a party over? The Wife has been well enough to leave the house on occasion, and at some point soon I will be able to start looking for work in more earnest than I have been, and my stint as house husband(extraordinaire??) will be over.

It hit me this earlier week how much I had missed The Wife in the recent times. There had been entire days when she was bedridden with dizziness and nausea. Basically if she rolled over she would spew. Not pleasant at all and likely to get anyone down in the dumps. Add to that the irrational yet unavoidable sense of guilt that accompanies any kind of incapacitation when you are a parent and can’t spend look after your child and you have a recipe for isolation. Spending much quality time with her has been difficult. Last week while she was getting scans we indulged in a lunch out. Just the two of us. It was like catching up with my best friend. We had lots to talk about, and at one point we reflected on how nice it was being just the two of us for a change, and how our opportunities for this kind of thing would be few and far between for the next little while.

There is a lot about life in these past few weeks I will miss (he writes as he goes to still the one year old climbing the window sill…). I have loved the chance to intensely parent these last few weeks. I feel closer than I ever have before to my boy. And on a morbid note i know that if anything ever happens to The Wife, I can manage as primary caregiver. May that never come to pass, of course, but we talked about it at one point and it is kind of gratifying and almost, dare I say it, empowering to know my boy can rely on me, and that I can manage on my own if push comes to shove…


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