February 16, 2013 by Dadinator
Last night was rough. The boy seems to have come down with an ailment of some kind. After refusing to sleep last night he awoke with 2 streams of snot running down his face, sigh…
What can you do really? He also insisted on being held in order to stay asleep last night, and therefore adsorbed two the half episodes of Star Trek Voyager by osmosis. Yes my wife and I are geeks. Thanks for asking. He hadn’t done this kind of thing in a long time.
Still these things are sent to test us, and in a strange way having him snuggle in to my arm for security, protection and comfort did you give me a warm fuzzy feeling which I must say I miss sometimes. Of course later when we decided he would be sleeping in the bed with us he was not so settled.
This brings me to the point of this place parental frustration. No I don’t mean that kind of frustration, snerk snerk,I mean the feeling of futility you can experience when trying to help one so young that they can’t tell you what’s wrong. Which is magnified by having a partner who you are incapable of helping.
It can be quite a shattering feeling. Partly because as a father I feel an overreaching sense of responsibility for the welfare of everyone in the family. That sounds archaic I know. But I can’t help myself, but it makes then situation all the more difficult. I am anxious at the thought of getting ill myself.
In some ways the work involved is a kind of refuge from such thinking. Anyway I don’t want to dwell on these thoughts for too long… So I shall leave this post there as an acknowledgement of the struggle and get back to the business of dadding. In some ways it’s easier to do than to think about…